Live in the body you deserve

I Sent My Parents a Porn Number By Mistake: A Humbling Reminder to Let Go of Perfectionism

October 26, 2018

Tim Mossholder 678981 Unsplash

I wish this weren't true. How, do you ask, did I wind up sending out a wedding invitation with a phone number that connected my guests to a live pornographic sex chat instead of the hotel reservations line? I swapped the last two numbers by mistake.

I 👏🏻 am 👏🏻not👏🏻kidding.👏🏻

A friend of mine was the first to tell me. I thought he was joking so I completely dismissed it. Then my cousin emailed me and said, "you must call that number." As soon as she mentioned it, a sinking feeling set in that my friend's dumb joke may have not been a joke at all. I held my breath, called the number, and heard a woman on the other side talking nonsense about a "hot steamy bulge." Mortification sets in about a half a second later and I am frozen, holding my phone to my ear, with absolutely no clue how to fix this.

Immediately I go through the inventory of all my parent's well-respected friends whom I invited to the most special event in my life. Oh shit: my poor Aunt Hinda. I soon realized that the damage was out there. I could crawl into a hole and die but I couldn't change the number or take back the invitation. So... there was nothing to do but laugh (since I would never dirty my outfit crawling into a hole).

You are probably wondering why I wouldn't want to cut my losses and bury this mishap in the world of most embarrassing mistakes. Instead, I'm outing myself to all of you, and I have valid reasons to do so:

1. It is my job to spread laughter and if you are having a rough day, I would like you to picture my 73-year-old aunt calling to reserve her lagoon suite and being unpleasantly surprised... you're welcome.

2. NO ONE IS PERFECT. That's right, we are all imperfect works in progress.

I once learned the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism and it changed the way I view myself and the world. Healthy striving is when you wake up every day and ask yourself: "how can I improve?" On the other hand, perfectionism asks the question: "what will others think?"

Perfectionism turns us into rigid beings, our lives dictated by the outside world view and our happiness dependent on external circumstances. It creates a black and white behavior pattern - you may know it as the "tap out" button. If you can't be perfect, screw it. Right? Might as well eat 10 brownies if you are going to eat them at all.

Striving allows you to make mistakes, learn from them, and grow into the enlightened human beings we all want to be. I will learn to double check the phone numbers, and perhaps you can try being a little easier on yourself today.

So hot stuff, if you are looking for a good time... call us and we will book you an appointment. 😘 Or you can call this number: 1-888-767-3699

 

317
What an amazing day! Thank you to everyone who came to my talk. I know you had a ton of choices and I’m glad you picked me. 
I loved meeting each of you to sign your books and I sent you each a silent prayer that you feed your soul and live life fulfilled 💋 #sxsw2019
45
When how I look determines whether or not I feel worthy of love, acceptance, or praise, I feel like crap. My mind tells me that only a flat stomach, small thighs and toned arms are the standard of my beauty, of my “enough”ness.

When how I feel is determined by all of the loving things I tell myself about my imperfect body, I feel whole, grounded and at peace. It motivates me to do more good things for my body, like exercise, eating well, drinking more water. I do these things out of love, not fear, because my worthiness is no longer a factor.
.
#carlypollack #feedyoursoulbook #selflovetips #bodyimagecoach #loveyourselfquotes
214
At Home Soba Noodle Bowl 🤩🍥🥢
•
Soba #noodle bowl + 6 minute egg + radishes, scallions, cilantro and a ton of greens! Hit it with some Sriracha, kimchi, and white sesame seeds for some extra flavor 🙌
•
Add a squeeze of #lemon (#vitamin C) to your cooked greens to increase your absorption of iron. 💪🏼❤️ #themoreyouknow
368
What is more #jersey, my nails or my sunnies? #jerseygirl #statenisland can't escape my roots