Live in the body you deserve

Clearly, there are a lot of unknowns right now. Some states are talking about reopening and we are starting to understand that there’s no magical green light that’s going to come on when it’s completely safe to resume our lives.

You’re wondering if the Rona will come knocking at your door, if someone you love will be affected, how your business will stay afloat, how you’ll homeschool the kids and at the same time, maintain a full-time remote work schedule… there’s plenty to feel anxious/angry/depressed {insert negative emotion here} about.

Tony Robbins says that negative emotions, like anxiety and fear, are messengers. They are there to either:

1. Point us in the direction of action (ie. review your finances, build your immune system with extra supplements, exercise, meditation, etc.)

and/or

2. Change your perception. This one is a little more elusive, so it’s what we will focus on today.

If your perception is that “uncertainty is something to fear,” this period of extreme change and unknown will be that much more challenging.

So, how can you make that shift?

First off, I like to remind myself that life is uncertain in its essence. Whether it's the landscape that doesn't know how harsh or dry a winter it will be, the new parent who has no previous experience bringing a child into this world, or an unprecedented virus now spreading across the globe, uncertainty is a governing rule in life.

As humans, we devise all sorts of tools and technology to be able to better control our environments, and this gives us the perception that we have control... so naturally, when uncertainty is thrown in our face, we aren’t necessarily in the practice of how to handle it.

Perhaps it would be more comforting to hear that, “Everything’s going to turn out just fine, you won’t get sick yourself or know anyone who gets infected, you won’t be financially impacted, etc.” But then I’d just be handing you a load of only half-truths. It very well may be true for you, but it also may not - the likelihood that all of us will be affected in some way is high. Maybe you won’t be affected, but what about the millions of other tiny shifts that could happen that would change the course of your life forever?

When we fully accept that uncertainty and loss is a natural and intrinsic part of life on this planet, it pulls us out of the small “me” and invites in a peculiar type of trust in the way things are unfolding.

Welcoming the fear, anxiety, stress, grief, insecurity, whatever it may be, removes the resistance to these “unpleasant” feelings. In this way, it takes the wind out of the sails of these difficult feelings. We start to see them just as they are---feelings---with no need to attach so much meaning to them.

When we spend less energy battling the storm, we start to notice some of the things we hadn’t been paying as much attention to, all the ways that our lives can be affected in positive ways too.

It’s time to reckon with the mind’s tendency to jump toward all the worst-case possibilities. You’ve probably heard me say before, “what you focus on, you feel,” and perhaps, now more than ever is a time to practice where you put your focus, and more importantly, where you let it dwell.

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind - you are the one who hears it.”

- Michael Singer, Untethered Soul

It may not be entirely clear at this point what good could come out of this, but having faith (which is your internal certainty) that there’s a bigger purpose in all this, specific to your own particular life or even on a global level, is the best tool for braving uncertainty.

It allows you to see the gift, even if it’s hiding under a pile of turds.

Take a moment to get creative and brainstorm a list of all the good possibilities or opportunities that could come out of this. If all you have focused on this week is the bad, write down five things that are also going well. We all know what’s wrong, but it's time to focus on what’s right.

More silence, more time at home to start a creative project, less worldwide pollution, a deeper sense of the collective WE, just to name a few… Get curious, what else (other than panic and stress) could come out of all this? Do you also feel your strength of human spirit? Are you proving what you are capable of? Are you seeing the parts of you that need attention and healing?

It’s not like making a list will quell anxiety and fear forever, but it’s a reference point to come back to while being in the constant practice of checking in with the mind and asking yourself:

“Am I coming from a place of faith or fear?”

And then redirecting and reimagining. Accepting and redirecting again… and again.

Realize that even though there are lots of things we don’t have control over right now, the one thing we do have control over is our thoughts.

Ask, “What is one thing that you can do, one small action step, that will make you feel like there is something you can do?”

Stop resisting the things that aren’t going as you had hoped.

Put your energy towards feeling confident that you’ll be able to handle this situation, however difficult or messy it feels. Rehearse yourself and your loved ones creatively getting through this.