Live in the body you deserve

What I Learned From Partying In College and How it Applies to Every Choice You Make

September 25, 2017

Michael Discenza 199756 Unsplash

In college, I went out a few times. Ok, I went out a lot. [But you don’t have any evidence because Instagram wasn’t even a thing…]

One of my rules when going out with my girls: if you go out with me, you come home with me.

That’s right. Judge all you want, I was a party pooper. No rando one night stands on my watch! This had nothing to do with being modest (obvi) but I’m not going to lie awake worrying that I let you leave with a murderer… hell no, I can’t live with that! Also, I don’t want to walk home alone - then I’m going to get murdered! (I’ve always been dramatic - blame it on CSI.)

When my girlfriends and I would leave, they were actively annoyed at me. “He’s so cute… ugh! He’s not going to call me since we barely got to talk…” blah blah blah.

Never once did one of my friends call me the next day (texting wasn’t really a thing either…) saying, “God, I wish I was waking up in a rando’s bed right now…”

How does this relate to food, you ask?

Here’s a common theme with my clients right now: “I know I'm supposed to feel happy that I made a healthy choice, but at the moment I’m still wanting [pizza / to sleep in / eat emotionally / go to the drive-thru]. Why isn’t the right choice feeling good?”

I get it. I really do.

If you’re not getting the I-just-made-the-healthy-choice endorphins in the moment, it’s because your feedback cycle is too short. Hear me out...

  • Me before going to a workout: “Ugggggh, I don’t want to. It’s hot. I’m hungry. Just no.”
  • Me during a workout: “I knew this was going to be hard. This is hard. This was a horrible idea.”
  • Me after a workout: “Ok - that’s done. It wasn’t so bad. I’m feeling a little empowered, which is nice…”
  • Me after four weeks of consistent workouts: “Oh dayum, are those mini abs showing through?!”
  • Me while ordering food: “They have soup dumplings!? If I order them, I’ll just eat one because I know I’m getting the stir fry… well, I’ll probably have more than one… wait this is a bad idea. Ugh fine! I’ll just get the entree so I don’t feel like shit tonight. This health thing suuuuuucks.”
  • Me when the waiter walks off with no app order: “I should have got them! Now what am I going to eat for the next ten minutes? I literally might starve…”
  • Me when I leave the restaurant: “Dinner was amazing. I was craving stir fry, I got it. I was hungry for it, and I am walking out of here with my still pants buttoned…”

You have to extend your feedback cycle and start thinking long term. It might not feel good in the moment. You might be uncomfortable after making the healthy decision. You might feel like a grouch when you pass something up in the name of balance. This is ok. You’re not at the end of the line.

If you wake up wishing that you ate that extra slice of pizza, or ordered the second bottle of wine, or asked the waiter to refill the chips… then call me a liar. If that’s the case, go get yourself some snackies (or call up that rando from last night. Don’t remember his name? It was probably Steve).

I’m betting it won’t happen. Extend the feedback cycle and see what happens. Allow long term pleasure to materialize, and celebrate when it does!


What an amazing day! Thank you to everyone who came to my talk. I know you had a ton of choices and I’m glad you picked me. 
I loved meeting each of you to sign your books and I sent you each a silent prayer that you feed your soul and live life fulfilled 💋 #sxsw2019
When how I look determines whether or not I feel worthy of love, acceptance, or praise, I feel like crap. My mind tells me that only a flat stomach, small thighs and toned arms are the standard of my beauty, of my “enough”ness.

When how I feel is determined by all of the loving things I tell myself about my imperfect body, I feel whole, grounded and at peace. It motivates me to do more good things for my body, like exercise, eating well, drinking more water. I do these things out of love, not fear, because my worthiness is no longer a factor.
#carlypollack #feedyoursoulbook #selflovetips #bodyimagecoach #loveyourselfquotes
At Home Soba Noodle Bowl 🤩🍥🥢
Soba #noodle bowl + 6 minute egg + radishes, scallions, cilantro and a ton of greens! Hit it with some Sriracha, kimchi, and white sesame seeds for some extra flavor 🙌
Add a squeeze of #lemon (#vitamin C) to your cooked greens to increase your absorption of iron. 💪🏼❤️ #themoreyouknow
What is more #jersey, my nails or my sunnies? #jerseygirl #statenisland can't escape my roots